Write without pressure.

It's been six months since I last posted here! Wow-o-wow. I hope you've all been well. If not, feel better soon.
The reason I stopped blogging is that it started to seem like a chore. And I was in a tricky place. I was seeing a councilor and with his help came to realise that if I didn't want to do something and I didn't have to do it, why do it? So I stopped.
I also decided to go easy on myself writing-wise. Writing is something I really want to do. But the more pressure I put on myself, the less I write. Since the last time I posted, my writing has been going well. I attempted NaNoWriMo, and managed 30k (so I say I came second :P), but got stressed and remembered my promise to myself to write without pressure. And since November, I've kept going with the project. I might have the first draft finished by the end of January.

What else have I done? I've enrolled in a Postgraduate Diploma in Writing that will start at the end of February next year. I'm very excited, overly so. As in, already enrolled in all my classes and chosen tutorials excited.

And there's the West Coast Swing routine I'm doing for a competition in March. Yeah, I've kind of taken up Ballroom dancing too.

And I have two jobs! Ack! It's stressful, but there are things like rent and food that are necessary to life.

And! And! I've started researching an idea for the project I'd like to start once the first draft of the current WiP is finished. I won't let myself start writing it, but research is fine, and the more the idea brews in my head before writing it the better. So for now, I'm entertaining myself with pretty Steampunk pictures and cool facts about Sydney in the decade after Federation (naughty, I'm breaking my rule of not talking about future projects, but WHATEVER, I'm excited).

So, it feels good to be back and blogging because it's FUN. :D

So many things.

Isn't that always the way? Over the past few days I've been cataloging things I wanted to write about here. And now there are three things I want to talk about, two of them related, the other thing not, but it's put me in a good mood so I'm gonna sing about it.

I got a job yesterday. Weee! I had a swim teaching trial and they were 'very impressed' with me. And I remembered what I love about teaching kids how to swim. Being active, working with kids, the thrill of seeing students get the hang of new techniques. And knowing I'm good at it helps boost the enjoyment a little too, not to mention my ego.

And I've been on a role with my WiP lately, the one that I'll be basing the blog diary entries on when we get to June and NYWM. It's still on the first draft, and it's so enjoyable, yet scary. It's liberating knowing I can go and do whatever I like with my characters and story and I can just edit it all into something nice later. But knowing that's coming also intimidates me, I think "What am I doing, oh god this is awful!"
All I can do is keep going because I know there's something in there. Even if it takes fifty drafts (I really hope it doesn't) to get to the good stuff, I will find it.

Which sort of brings me to my last point. NYWM. Yay! I now have more reason than ever to stick to my initial goals. Despite all the insecurities I may be feeling, I just have to get those entries out there. For audiences to read. I don't have to tell you (knowing most of my readers are writers too) all the thoughts circling my brain telling me I'm stupid for doing this and that it will be really bad and that no one will want to read it.
Enough of the negativity, I'll do it anyway, because now, now, I have been linked to on the NYWM blog. Along with a whole bunch of other participants. So, I have something other than myself to commit to.

And on that note, I'm going to go check out some of the other participants' blogs. Spread the love, go check them out too. :)

ETA: Also, the button on the right side of my page is another link to the NYWM site, but the picture has gone funky for some reason.

Staying away.

Just for a week, I've decided to stay away from Facebook and Twitter. Twitter is worse because it's just so easy to read through everyone's little things, and then click the links that are posted, reply and remember other people I wanted to follow, and go read all their latest updates. 

Yeah, it's a time suck. As much as it's a great networking tool, it's also a great sucker of time.

So, the reason I need less distractions at the moment, is I'm looking for a job. It's been a nice few months being free and not tied down, but honestly, I miss the structure that a job gives. The money helps too, I won't lie. 

I need to seriously focus. Focus leads to success.

Also, I need to focus on my writing. As much as all the encouragement from all the fabulous people on Twitter give by being in the same boat and posting little snippets of advice to wannabe authors, I think I waste more time perusing all this than opening up the Word document and actually writing*. 

I will keep on with the Blog posts though, and this will be the only time each day I will post on Twitter, so readers can link through. I find Blogging is also less of a time vacuum. More structure, perhaps?

So, I will be around on Blogger :D but the other social networking sites will be put on the back burner. 

WiP2 (there are three at the moment, gah!) is at 13334 words. By Monday next week, I want to be at 20k. Hold me to it!

*Meandering sentence much? 

How to make a book (but not why).

I was with my friend (the one I'm living temporarily with) having coffee today. We're both looking for jobs at the moment, and she showed me a flyer for an acting/extras/modelling agency. I was interested for about two seconds but then she told me that after the interview, you don't get payed until you get a job.
 "No, I need something that gives reliable money. I'm already doing something that needs hard work way before you get payed for it. I'm not going to have two jobs like that."
From here, this came up:
 "How long does it take to finish a book?" she asked, being a person who rarely reads book-length prose.
 "What do you mean by book?" She was confused, "first draft, ready for an agent, or just before it's published?"
 "Well, before you send it off."
 "Well, before I send it to an agent, I have to finish the draft, leave it a few months, edit it. Then when I think it's okay, I send it to some other writing friends who tell me what needs changing."
 "That's before it's even sent off," she said, her mouth and eyes three round O's already.
 "Yep, then I send it to a few agents, hopefully one of them takes me. Then they tell me what to edit, I edit again. Then they send it to a few publishers, and hopefully one of them takes the book. Then they tell me what to edit, and I edit it again."
 "Woah, writing a book is really hard work."
 "Yeah, at the earliest, my first book will be out when I'm 25. And that's if I'm really, really lucky."
 "And then you have to worry about, will it sell?"
I nodded, "and if it doesn't sell well, the publisher might not want my next book."

So why am I doing this again?

Oh yeah, because I can't imagine doing anything else.

I can't believe -

I haven't written anything since Christmas. I also haven't read any of my favourite blogs since then (sorry).

So much has happened since then, in the world and in my own life. Therefore, there are a lot of things I could write about right now, like:

1) My overactive imagination that's been keeping me awake since NYE, despite the educated, rational person inside me debunking all my irrational qualms. The latest events in Japan and New Zealand (yeah, there was an earthquake there too, I didn't forget) haven't helped. Not to mention the massive moon that came around two nights ago, which is actually kinda cool.

2) I'm half way through Los Peregrinos, and have put it on hold for the next item on this list. And I'm 9000 words into a new project which I'm a little excited about.

3) I've spent the last five weeks traveling around the USA, visiting family and friends, and checking out cities I've never seen before. I decided this trip was reason enough to put on hold the WiP, and the relaxed attitude towards writing has caused me to start the new WiP (currently being called Apprentice Witch). So it's been an amazing experience, and has caused me to muse on different options for my future in terms of writing career and personally as well.

4) Now that I'm heading home, and arriving two days into the future (love time zones), I'm going to have to get a job, and possibly go house hunting. I've been staying with a friend in Sydney, and it's supposed to be temporary.

So, now that I've finished this post, I might just wander by and check out what's new with some of my favourite bloggers.

Done!

Hey there!

I submitted my last essay today. And had my Spanish oral exam too. I am done with my Bachelor degree (except for the Spanish written, but that'll be cool with the help of a study group :)!

Does this mean I can read as much of whatever I want now? Does this mean I can do as much salsa dancing as I can? Does this mean I can finally concentrate on my WiP???

No.

If this was a vlog, this is the part where I hunch forward and pout at the camera. Because guess what?

I'm moving. And I don't even know when. Due to some things (which I won't go into right now), my house is being put on the market this week. My housemate and her boyfriend have started getting the house cleaned and packed away. Now that I'm done with assignments, it's my turn to do as much as is left. The house could be turned over as soon as next week, or as late as the end of December.

No dancing (hopefully some though). No reading (except during breaks at work, or on the bus).

I will try and do at least 300 words a day though. There are no other (English) words taking up my brain so I think I can manage that. 300 always leads to more anyway. It's just a small amount so that I don't feel guilty about not writing more.

It's a great idea I got from Anne Lamott's writing book Bird by Bird. If you're ever feeling down about your writing or life (what writer doesn't feel this occasionally?), read it for some inspiration.

:D

Mooncow

Hey guys. I had a massive brain fart today.

Whenever I looked at the clock, I was seeing an hour earlier. Or I figured that my calculations in catching the early bus would give me the extra time I needed to get some chores done before work. I dunno.

I got called ten minutes after my shift was supposed to start and in that second I realised my mistake. And I completely flipped out. When I got to work my boss was saying:
 "Calm down, it's okay. She was worried about you."

I had a private lesson first up. I like to think that I'm a professional swim instructor. I always get to work early, try to involve the parents, and treat my students, the parents and my co-workers with respect.
Clearly the mother of my first student today thinks so too, at least partly.
 "I just hope she's okay," she said to my boss when I didn't turn up.

It's flattering to think that something must have happened for me not to be there. It's also touching when the parents show concern. I get a similar feeling when they express trust and/or gratitude.

Nothing happened to me. I just turned into a space cadet for the day.

This has made me realise something today. I am getting pretty stressed. I think I need to take a break from the Internet for a while and focus on my studies. It may take a week or more. I will be back though, because having increased my followers over the past few weeks *waves* has made me confident in my posting, and it's a great motivation to post.

So, keep well. Hasta luego.

Holy Cow

It is raining, raining, raining here. Swimming Saturday may as well be about swimming in the rain, there is that much water falling from the sky. But no, I will stick with actual swimming.

I said in my Theme Days post that I would post what I have learned each week at my swim teaching job. This week is kind of hard because I haven't learnt anything new. As I write this, I'm realising that there are many important things I learn and relearn each time I teach a class, yet there are rarely any epiphanies. So I will write about something that was brought to my attention this week.

I teach children from two to pre-teen. And one thing that I have learnt is patience, and how to deal with frustration. There will always be those days where I am tired, or the kids are tired (for most people, swim-teaching is part-time alongside study). If I am having a particularly hard day, the one thing I never (one should never) do is tell the kids they are being a pain. Or tell them that their friends or siblings are being a handful. You just don't. There are swim-school coordinators and staff on pool-deck who you can ask to come and watch those classes that are particularly boisterous. And a lot of the times parents are fairly understanding when you decide to sit their child out for bad behaviour. But discipline is not about criticising children, it is about enforcing safety in an equatic environment.

 I hope this all makes sense. Kids should be treated with respect. I've come to be very surprised about how well people will respond to a smile and positive encouragement.

Improvement

Just a quick one today because my day has run away from me today. I only just caught it by the hem of it's skirt (like the personification there? Huh? Huh?).

So just wanted to share with you guys something that makes me happy every time it happens. If you're a teacher or a parent, you'll know what I'm talking about.

I got to work today, rushing and panicking and shoveling down a Milo bar because I hadn't eaten anything all day besides two pieces of Vegemite toast, tea and four biscuits. I got down to pool deck, set up what hadn't already been set up by my fellow high-levels instructor and stood at my area of pool deck. Half the kids were there, most of them eager to get going. I sent them off for a warm up while the rest of the class dawdled in, hesitating with the ritual of 'It's too coooold!'.

During the warm up was where I noticed that thing that always makes me do a little cheer, and dance a tiny jig.  A student that I have taught since I started swim-teaching two years ago, went straight into the warm up and his freestyle just clicked. He turned his head to the side at the right time, his arms extended as far as they could go - and he didn't stop during a lap!

He's got a ways to go, but this personal achievement is like my/his own little reward. My classes in general went well today. The whole class (of the improving student) clicked with breaststroke arms by the end of the lesson, and my second class managed to make it through more than half an hour of butterfly drills. They are exhausting!

Seeing students progress is one of the best things about my job. Most of the time the progress is so steady that all I can do is keep going and listen to feedback. It's the best thing when the students suddenly seem to 'get it' from one week to the next.

Water!

Yup, today is Blog Action Day 2010. And I was going to talk about it being a precious commodity - which it is, and no one should take it for granted. But it's hard to think like that since Canberra has been inundated by rain this past week and today was the worst! It's brought out the slugs - and I HATE SLUGS! Just thinking about them makes my skin crawl, and I'm pretty sure I won't be able to sleep tonight for fear that they could be sliming across my window pane. I hate them more than spiders or cockroaches. Seriously, the freak me out.

ANYWAY, because of this, I'm going to talk about being safe around the water. Whenever I find out someone I know can't swim, I never know what to say. It's such an important life skill. Even if you can't swim marathons, it's so important to know how to keep yourself alive if you're ever in an aquatic snafu.
At work, it was Water Safety Week this week, so it coincides with the Water topic quite well. The children learnt how to do safety jumps, and keep themselves afloat, as well as endurance swimming. For the little ones, we teach them to turn to the nearest edge should they fall in.
 I'm not sure what the statistics are, but the Austswim organisation once advertised for volunteers to teach swimming in third world countries. We talk about the safety of drinking water, and the availability of water in general. These are important. But what about those children who never learned to swim. Every year all around the world, there are kids who are permanently, seriously or fatally injured because they never learned how to swim.
 It is such an important part of a child's physical education, and more parents should make it part of their child's life. What would be even greater is if more Governments - local, state, national and international - could subsidise parents for giving their children the opportunity to save their own lives. The two weeks that ACT schools have for swimming lessons per year is not enough. If you only devoted half an hour a day for ten days a year to something, how well do you think you'd know it?

And lastly, the earlier a child learns how to move in water, the more capable they are at reaching the edge of a pool on their own if they fall in, and the less likely they are to panic when all they have to do is swim a few metres and they'll be in their own depth. Having said this, it is also never too late to learn either.

Lastly (really this time), swimming is fun! So it's a life skill that is also an enjoyable vocation :)

What to say, what to say.

Hi guys.

I was almost not going to post today because I can't settle on any one topic, none of them seem interesting enough to blog about. They are things like food, feeling helpless about the state of the world, and why I love my job. All are things that are valid, but I haven't been able to give any of them enough thought to come up with a cohesive and worthy post.

But. I will talk about the weather.

It is Spring here in Canberra, and for a few glorious weeks, I was able to sit and enjoy it. It was that perfect amount of warmth that only ever comes in Spring or Autumn, and there were blossoms everywhere, along with the new little green leaves of the imported trees. 

Well, the blossoms are still around, but the sun is gone. Because the thing about Spring is that she is fickle. It has been raining all day. The rain itself is lovely. When I'm inside. Going outside is not so nice, especially walking from the bus stop in the dark through squelchy grassland. 

The thing about being Australian (and I will cover more of this on Blog Action Day*), is that sometimes it feels like an unspoken rule that one does not complain about the rain. It is such a valuable source. Especially since the local dams have collectively been hovering around the 50% mark for the past year or so. Only in the last month have they crept over. Today they reached 80%.

My point is, while the rain is great for our general well-being, it would be nice to have some sun back. I was just getting to enjoy it. 

*Due to my technological failings, I've been unable to load the widget :( So for now I will just make links :)

Yes, I have a new layout, it's purrty. Poem 2

This poem is an interpretation of my lecturer's dislike of the use of exclamation marks and angels in poetry. I get his point, there are times and places for these things, and never because the poet or writer is lacking the suitable word or metaphor. So, enjoy my little parody of what a poem shouldn't be:

Poem Two

Angels! Glistening
like turgid jelly
on the moss. Overpowering
with their poetic
grace. Look!
I say
they are angels!


In other news Astrid may actually be homeless in a couple of weeks... More on this later if the events I'm hinting at actually take place.

More other news: I've joined Blog Action Day 2010. This year's focus is Water.
Taking a gander at my profile, you'll see that I'm a swim teacher. More to the point, I'm an Instructor of Swimming and Water Safety, but just say I'm a swim teacher.
I also live in Australia, a country where there is almost always water restrictions in some part of the country at any given time.
My point to all this, is that Water is a simple concept that many people take for granted in terms of safety and as a commodity. So on October 15, I'm going to do a post about my passion for these two aspects of Water.
I encourage anyone reading this who has a blog, to join in. If you're doing NaBloWriMo, it will be a great thing to post about.

That's it from me until tomorrow, where I will return to the serious (but not too serious) with my poems :D

Happy

Before writing this post, I had this thought: the reason Art is and always has been around, is because humans need to know that they're not alone. Whatever the situation, there is a piece of music, literature, film, theatre, poetry, visual art, dance and more to fit it.

I've been listening to Happy by Natasha Bedingfield a bit lately (I downloaded the album after seeing Easy A). And it seems to be eerily parallel to my life at the moment. Let's take a look at the opening lines:

Landlord's knocking at my door/cussing me out: my housemates and I were given a Notice to Remedy yesterday after failing a house inspection. If we fail the next inspection, we'll be given a Notice to Vacate.

Got laid off my job the night before: I still have a job, but might not for long if I end up homeless...

Can't figure how/ I'm gonna fix tomorrow when/ yesterday's still a mess: Late uni assignments, housework, social life, work... you get the picture, the usual student stresses.

I wish that I could step away and breath/ this world's tryin to swallow me/ clear away the clouds inside my head: This is just generally how I've been feeling for the past few... months I guess, on and off.

Now for some happy thoughts:

1) Writing - I finished the first draft of my Creative Project manuscript. I've started editing now... it's exiting.

2) I have many incredible friends who are awesome in their own right, as well as being supportive when I need them to be.

3) My family - always there for me. I love them and I'll always know that they love me.

4) I'm good at my job, and it's fun.

5) Spring! Sun! These things never fail to make me smile. I've been waiting all winter for them.

6) I'm starting to get into the mundane, everyday stuff that makes me happy, so I'll stop this post here.

7) Check out the song, it's good for lifting your spirits.

Mishmash

Hi hi,

I'm in a flat mood today, so I feel this blog will not be as full of exclamation marks as usual. Possibly that's a good thing though, as F Scott Fitzgerald did say that using exclamation marks was like laughing at your own jokes. Oh dear, that might be what I've been doing in all my other posts. Cringe.

Anywhos, I have a few announcements:

1. I'm joining NaBloWriMo, because I thought it might be a good idea to actually force myself to use this blog more than once a month.

2. I now have a twitter account! And I will add a follow tag on the side of my page for those intersted :)

3. I don't talk about my swim-teaching much here, although it is one of the joys of my life - I love teaching this valuable skill to kids, and seeing them improve each term, because of ME is amazing. Sorry, I'm getting clucky, ignore me if you like.

So, I'm doing a Towards Competitive Strokes course this weekend, and I'm looking forward to it. It'll help me instruct kids on how to do butterfly, breastroke, and the other strokes with more finesse. I'm doing it mainly because I've never been sure of butterfly, and now I will feel more confident in my teaching ability.

4. Last post, I promised to let you know how my CP was going - it's going okay. I'm still on the first draft, and I'm at 10450/15000 words. I can't wait to finish the first draft and edit it down.

I should mention that I'm having lots of FUN with it. I can write freely for the first time in my degree. It feels good to have free-reign over my characters for longer than 15oo words.

So that's me for the month, until I start NaBloWriMo, in which you'll be hearing from me every day. Are you quaking in your boots yet?

So Glad

I've got a hectic day coming up on Friday. First I have my CPR certificate - I need it up to date for work - then I'm meeting up with the lady in charge of my Internship Placement, and then it's straight to work in the afternoon.

Pick out the most important item in that list. And it's not the thing that's could save someone's life.

I'm meeting with the lady in charge of my internship placement on Friday! I spoke to her last week and she sound like a very happy and enthusiastic woman. What did she say as soon as I mentioned my name?

"Hi Astrid! I'm glad your coming to help us, and that we can help you, and that everybody's helping everybody!"

Looking forward to Friday very much...

Internship (woo, woo, woo)

I have an internship! I won't say too much because the details aren't finalised yet, but I'm very excited. And it could lead to being:

Published!

Just a few small articles, but small steps still add to an entire mile walked. Is that too cheesy? 'Cause that's how I feel.

I've been meaning to write this post since last week, but the news came the day before my birthday, and I've had an assessment hanging over my head.

Along with that news came the little piece of information that if I work hard this year, I could get a scholarship to honours next year! These two tidbits made my day, and were an awesome early birthday present.

So yeah, internship. The chance to be mentored by writerly types, and write a few small articles in the process. I may ask if I can blog about my experience there, it would give me a reason to be more regular with my posting.

And in reply to those who commented on my last post: thankyou :)

Exhaustion, or I'm Going to be Busy

It's been another while since my last post.

But I'm done with assessments and exams! So glad, and trying not to think about the possibly dreadful results I'll be getting in a month or so.

In other matters, I can go to social salsa dancing again! I went last night (King O'Malley's in Canberra for anyone in the area) and had so much fun. And I slept like a baby last night becuse of it. The choreo for SSC10 is getting trickier though. We started partner work two weeks ago and I'm finding it harder than the shines.

Partner work requires both the follow and the lead to know what they're doing and sometimes it's hard to tell who's in the wrong (usually it's both though). Having said that, we have time to get it down, we haven't even learnt all the steps to the whole song yet. Polishing come later.

Uni finishes, and work begins! That exclamation mark is not enthusiasm, it's to accentuate how tiring and how much time it takes up. At the moment my schedule is 5 - 7 1/2 hours a day of swim teaching, and dancing four times a week. The only time I get to myself (and this is when I'm not visiting Sydney on the weekends), is two afternoons a week, and one day on weekends. I'm not exaggerating.

In this spare time I'll hopefully be blogging, continuing/editing my story/novel Los Peregrinos (and cleaning the house, blech) and reading as much as possible.

The aforementioned story can be found at FictionPress.com under the name aquizzle. I already have one review - not much but I'm excited anyway!

So after this wordy post, I'm going to go attempt to see what I can do with my little project.

Or sleep.