Write without pressure.

It's been six months since I last posted here! Wow-o-wow. I hope you've all been well. If not, feel better soon.
The reason I stopped blogging is that it started to seem like a chore. And I was in a tricky place. I was seeing a councilor and with his help came to realise that if I didn't want to do something and I didn't have to do it, why do it? So I stopped.
I also decided to go easy on myself writing-wise. Writing is something I really want to do. But the more pressure I put on myself, the less I write. Since the last time I posted, my writing has been going well. I attempted NaNoWriMo, and managed 30k (so I say I came second :P), but got stressed and remembered my promise to myself to write without pressure. And since November, I've kept going with the project. I might have the first draft finished by the end of January.

What else have I done? I've enrolled in a Postgraduate Diploma in Writing that will start at the end of February next year. I'm very excited, overly so. As in, already enrolled in all my classes and chosen tutorials excited.

And there's the West Coast Swing routine I'm doing for a competition in March. Yeah, I've kind of taken up Ballroom dancing too.

And I have two jobs! Ack! It's stressful, but there are things like rent and food that are necessary to life.

And! And! I've started researching an idea for the project I'd like to start once the first draft of the current WiP is finished. I won't let myself start writing it, but research is fine, and the more the idea brews in my head before writing it the better. So for now, I'm entertaining myself with pretty Steampunk pictures and cool facts about Sydney in the decade after Federation (naughty, I'm breaking my rule of not talking about future projects, but WHATEVER, I'm excited).

So, it feels good to be back and blogging because it's FUN. :D

The Triggering Town: Lectures and Essays on Poetry and Writing by Richard Hugo

The Triggering Town: Lectures and Essays on Poetry and Writing by Richard Hugo
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

This might seem like a writing book by a poet, for poets. But it is just as valuable for other writers.
If you took each lesson or tip, and replaced the word 'poem' with 'novel' or 'story' (I can't say so much for scripts), you would have some great advice.
In my opinion, more prose writers could take a few lessons from poets anyway.
Of all the lessons, the one I appreciated the most was Hugo's sentiment that he was teaching 'his way' of writing, or showing us new writers how to find our own way. And that is so great. From high school through a creative writing degree to Twitter and the blogosphere, there is so much advice for writers out there. So when someone says they are going to teach me how to teach myself, I welcome it with relief and a smile.

Like many writing books, Hugo includes accounts from his life, and he uses the parts that inspired certain poems. I enjoyed these parts too, I always like to see what kind of life writers lead before/during their writing career.
Overall, this book is worth reading although some of it I'd heard at Uni. But it's always good to be reminded.


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Unbearable Lightness by Portia de Rossi

Unbearable Lightness by Portia de Rossi
My rating: 5 of 5 stars

I finished this book a week ago. I finished it in two days.
I haven't connected with a book this emotionally since Going Bovine by Libba Bray.
This was different of course, being non-fiction. A book about Portia de Rossi's struggle with Anorexia Nervosa and coming out.
I'm not anorexic, nor am I gay. But the way de Rossi wrote about her compulsivity with food and the fear of losing control which then leads to a loss of control in a hellish loop, touched on some deep issues for me.
I couldn't break away from the beautiful, honest prose. I cried when my Mum and sister came over and I had to stop reading. Not because I had to stop reading. Because I was dealing with my own anxiety issues through de Rossi's journey.
The whole last chapter I cried for her and myself.
Then the epilogue. It brought hope, and I felt relief. If she can come back from that obsession, I can certainly deal with my own problems. There is brightness in the future.

Now, one thing I asked myself before reading was: Can this celebrity write? Was there a ghostwriter?
Yes and no, respectively. There were passages where de Rossi's love of words was clear: in high school, she loved reading out Shakespeare and Poetry and giving emotion to the words.
And no one else was mentioned in the fine print. De Rossi is amazing and I hope she writes more.

Lastly, I loved the sense of Australianness I felt throughout the book. De Rossi hasn't lost her roots.


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The Feminist Inside Me

That's not meant to sound dirty, I swear.

This is an issue I've been meaning to blog about for a while but haven't. I was re-watching a few episodes of Mad Men and it started me thinking about it all over again. Let's see if I can do this coherently.

I have always loved reading. And I've known I wanted to be a writer since I was ten years old and my teacher read my poems and stories out to the class.
But until I read Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck in year Eleven, no single author had me captured by their language the way Steinbeck did. There are many reasons why I loved the book, but they will do better in another post.
I love Steinbeck, and he became my favourite author from then on. Since then, I've read East of Eden, The Pearl, The Red Pony and Cannery Row.

Now, onto feminism. I feel like even if I hadn't known what feminism was, I would have developed something of this sensibility anyway. My parents split up when I was ten (coincidence?) and from then, it was three women in my house. Three strong women.
Sometime after, Dad introduced my sister and I to our future step-mother. Another strong woman. A woman who helped me realise my dreams weren't so silly after all. She was teacher of screenwriting at a Sydney tertiary institution.
Aside from that, the strongest personalities in my life were women. My grandmothers, and step-grandmothers (lots of divorce in my family, something for yet another post), are very strong women. At the age of fifteen, my paternal grandfather passed away. It sucked. But it meant that I got to watch my grandmother survive beyond that and become an even stronger woman in my eyes.

At some point during my teens, I realised that all the stories I was writing revolved around women, with very few male central characters. And, as many of my readers will know, so many of the classics and books in school, and many books in general, had male central characters. And I felt like I was doing something wrong, and tried to develop male central characters to write. I even had a male central character for the play I wrote as a final project in Drama. A project that many people praised, yet I scrapped it two weeks before it was due, in favour of a play that centred around a female main character because I felt like I connected with her better.

Fast forward to midway through uni. I realised something after reading East of Eden, which was driven home after reading Cannery Row. Steinbeck's women were more absent from his classic texts, than men were from my own writing. All women were either mothers, whores, or two dimensional girlfriends who were only referred to.
So became a flaw apparent in my idol's writing. As happens to a lot of people after high school, I had become a little more self aware. Studying my passion and becoming aware of the different types of Feminism helped too.
I came to the conclusion: so what? So what if I write about mostly women? Don't we need more texts like that? Non-chicklit* texts like that?

So, I decided that John Steinbeck was allowed to be my idol in style. I still try to keep my prose as spare as possible while still giving across the message**.

I still think that as a writer, it is a valuable tool to write from the point of view of the opposite sex, yet I don't put pressure on myself to create male central characters. There are enough.


* I have since realised that from a feminist viewpoint, that chicklit is often derided because it is just that: books for women, by women. Although a lot of it is in itself pretty sexist.

** You wouldn't think so from my blog posts. Trust me, my prose is edited a lot more :D

The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards

The Memory Keeper's Daughter by Kim Edwards
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

Overall, this was a good book. It took me a long time to read, but that could be due to my busy schedule. But then, I'm one heck of a procrastinator, so if a book isn't so intriguing that I'm not putting things off to finish it, it's not going to be up there with my favourites.

One of the downfalls is something that many people praise in literary fiction. The imagery. Yes, it was beautifully descriptive. But sometimes the characters were so caught up in their little moments that I found my eye wandering down or across the page to the next bit of action.

The next thing, is that it's one of those books that has a few protagonists. I find these books really hard to read, and a books has to be really, really well written for me to be engrossed by every single protagonist.

My favourite story line in the book followed Caroline and Phoebe, maybe because I identified with Caroline the most, and thought she had the most to fight for in her story. Maybe because David was a self-involved piece of work and I just didn't CARE how much he was suffering with the decision he made. And Norah was insufferable too, but I tolerated her more because it wasn't her fault, and her character evolved enough that in the end I liked her.
In fact, considering what happens to David, I wondered why he was needed at all. Yes, it was his decision that the novel hinged on, but it was the way the other characters dealt with it that was more fascinating to me. The parallel stories of Caroline and Norah would have been sufficient for me, and maybe I would have liked the book better.

Anyway, good things. This book made me cry, and that says something for Edwards. And I was fascinated by what snippets were given to Caroline's fight to give Phoebe a fair life as a person with Down's Syndrome.

I do recommend this book to people interested in unlikely parents - I know I love this kind of story.


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Libba Bray

So, some great, fantastic, incredibly exciting news.

LIBBA BRAY'S NEW BOOK IS RELEASED TOMORROW! (or Thursday, considering time difference)

My excitement is so much that I had to talk about it. Libba is my favourite contemporary author. There are a few others who come close, but I've read all her books and LOVED all her books.

And Going Bovine? Guh. Cried, laughed and it got my Postmodern obsessed brain thinking about reality, perceived reality and everything else besides.

And, and, and the fact that the characters were so different to her Gemma Doyle Trilogy, just shows what an incredibly talented writer she is.

I know Beauty Queens will be new and original and crazy, just like Libba (or what I can tell from her blog).

So, yeah. I just had to get my fangirl squees out and share the love.

Sydney Writers Festival 2011!

I went today, after almost forgetting about it (sinful, I know), with my lovely Grandma. I went to two events, and I'm here to tell you what I thought of them, and what helpful hints I will be storing away for future use.

So You Think You Can Write: International Edition

This was a fascinating event, where anyone in the audience could pitch their book idea - any book idea - and have the pitch critiqued by Barabray Rozycki, UK literary scout; Lynne Missen (Penguin), Canadian publisher; Alexis Washam (Crown Trade Paperbacks US), US senior editor. Lenny Ann Low was the referee.

As I don't consider myself to be at the stage where I need to worry about a pitch just yet, I thought I'd go along and take note what the panelists had to say*. This is what I scrawled in my notebook:

• Comparisons are good. For example, "Tamora Pierce, crossed with Margo Lanagan."
• If it is for children or YA, giving an age group is recommended.
• You need to introduce a character who the audience will identify with. It's no use just to talk about the setting without providing the reader with someone to follow.
• Concentrate on the story. Again, try not to delve too much into the setting without revealing the central story.
• Providing a character and a moral dilemma are good, to hook the reader in.
• Keep it simple. 

Culture Clash

This event was a fun one, being an interview with the author Amara Lakhous by Anne Maria Nicholson. His novel, Clash of Civilizations Over an Elevator in Piazza Vittorio has recently been translated into English and the interview was mostly about that. Lakhous grew up in Algeria and moved to Italy in 1995. Some of the inspiration for the novel came from his experience as an immigrant in Italy. It's a humourous novel from many different points of view, set in an apartment block where one of the tenants has just died. The themes are (to me) truth, discrimination and diversity. With these themes, some of which I am trying to explore in my current WiP, it sound like a book that I very much want to read. Immigration is also an issue relevant to Australia, so I'm glad it has been translated into English, for us Aussies to read. We might find something to identify with there as well as something to learn from. 

And would you look at that paragraph! What a block. Anyway, that's me, so I hope you learned something new or now have a new book on your list to read.

*Unfortunately I didn't write down who said what, so I apologise. 

Descriptions paraphrased from the Sydney Writers Festival website. 

Goodreads!

I discovered Goodreads about a week ago, and have been wanting to tell you about it. I don't have any friends on there yet *pouts*, because no one knows I'm there, and I don't know of anyone who is on there as well.

Also, I did a review of good ol' Sookie Stackhouse: Definitely Dead: A Sookie Stackhouse Southern Vampire Mystery #6. Otherwise known as True Blood for those familiar with the show. Because of the large volume of books I've read over my life, I'm going to only review the books I started reading since joining Goodreads.

In future, I'll try and cross-post my reviews here. I'd like to add a gadget for you guys to see what I'm currently reading, but tonight my 'Interwebs skillz' failed me.


PS My writing is coming along nicely.

How to make a book (but not why).

I was with my friend (the one I'm living temporarily with) having coffee today. We're both looking for jobs at the moment, and she showed me a flyer for an acting/extras/modelling agency. I was interested for about two seconds but then she told me that after the interview, you don't get payed until you get a job.
 "No, I need something that gives reliable money. I'm already doing something that needs hard work way before you get payed for it. I'm not going to have two jobs like that."
From here, this came up:
 "How long does it take to finish a book?" she asked, being a person who rarely reads book-length prose.
 "What do you mean by book?" She was confused, "first draft, ready for an agent, or just before it's published?"
 "Well, before you send it off."
 "Well, before I send it to an agent, I have to finish the draft, leave it a few months, edit it. Then when I think it's okay, I send it to some other writing friends who tell me what needs changing."
 "That's before it's even sent off," she said, her mouth and eyes three round O's already.
 "Yep, then I send it to a few agents, hopefully one of them takes me. Then they tell me what to edit, I edit again. Then they send it to a few publishers, and hopefully one of them takes the book. Then they tell me what to edit, and I edit it again."
 "Woah, writing a book is really hard work."
 "Yeah, at the earliest, my first book will be out when I'm 25. And that's if I'm really, really lucky."
 "And then you have to worry about, will it sell?"
I nodded, "and if it doesn't sell well, the publisher might not want my next book."

So why am I doing this again?

Oh yeah, because I can't imagine doing anything else.

Done!

Hey there!

I submitted my last essay today. And had my Spanish oral exam too. I am done with my Bachelor degree (except for the Spanish written, but that'll be cool with the help of a study group :)!

Does this mean I can read as much of whatever I want now? Does this mean I can do as much salsa dancing as I can? Does this mean I can finally concentrate on my WiP???

No.

If this was a vlog, this is the part where I hunch forward and pout at the camera. Because guess what?

I'm moving. And I don't even know when. Due to some things (which I won't go into right now), my house is being put on the market this week. My housemate and her boyfriend have started getting the house cleaned and packed away. Now that I'm done with assignments, it's my turn to do as much as is left. The house could be turned over as soon as next week, or as late as the end of December.

No dancing (hopefully some though). No reading (except during breaks at work, or on the bus).

I will try and do at least 300 words a day though. There are no other (English) words taking up my brain so I think I can manage that. 300 always leads to more anyway. It's just a small amount so that I don't feel guilty about not writing more.

It's a great idea I got from Anne Lamott's writing book Bird by Bird. If you're ever feeling down about your writing or life (what writer doesn't feel this occasionally?), read it for some inspiration.

:D

Heroines

As in, female protagonists of novels. Now this post might drive you a bit crazy because I'm not going to use any specifics. Sorry about that.

So to the task at hand. I'm just in the middle of watching a film based on a book. And I just finished a different book today. Both books have girls as their central characters and I got to thinking about how I imagine characters when I read a book.

It occurred to me that the former book, before I saw the film version, had a heroine who is a fairly two dimensional character and I imagined her as a caricature or with cartoonish features. The second book, the one I finished today, has a heroine who is much more three dimensional - or at least, I identified with her much more as a person. This girl I imagined as a real person, and almost placed myself at the centre of the action.

Both books are told in first person, so there is nothing to argue on that point. However, if the characterisation and narration are done well enough, something like point of view shouldn't matter.

So, how do you imagine characters, depending on how well you identify with them or not? It'd be interesting to see if it's just me.

Ideas

No poem today, sorry.

But I will talk about ideas.
I'm only an emerging writer - one with only a few small articles published, and just finishing my Bachelor in Writing - but ideas, and the overflow or lack of, are something that every writer knows about.

A couple of posts ago I mentioned that I finished the first draft of my Creative Project. I've edited it down the best I could with the time I had, and emailed it off to my supervisor. There are so many things I could have expanded - way too many 'show, don't tell' moments in the manuscript. But my supervisor will give me my comments and I'll be able to keep going. That's a week from today.

In the meantime, my brain has free reign to think of other things. And there's a new character who won't leave me alone. She just won't. All of a sudden her whole life is in my head and I can't get rid of it.
I wrote down as much as I could, then closed my notebook. I want to prove to myself that I can finish something, so this shiny new idea will have to wait. As well as my CP, there's the WiP I've been writing with what little time I have. That has first priority as soon as classes are finished this year.

And it's not just that new idea. There's another really cool fantasy concept that I came up with a month or so ago. It also has to wait. And the other things I started when I was a teenager that I never finished that I'd like to go back and rework someday. They'll have to wait too.

I get a little overwhelmed by all these ideas sometimes, and a little impatient with my current WiP's. But on the flip side it's something amazing that I wouldn't give up - it means that if I'm ever stuck for ideas, I don't have to worry. By writing all these ideas down, I'm giving myself insurance for those days when I'm feeling uninspired. Which seems unlikely at the moment, but I'm sure they exist.

Does this happen to you?

I'm thinking I should start giving my poems titles. Poem 3

Especially if posting poems becomes a regular thing. However, once I've gone through the poems in my notebooks, they'll grow more sporadic. I can always post short stories as well :) We shall see.

I won't explain this poem, it's elusive, but I hope it says something to you. It doesn't need to be profound, so don't worry too much :)

Poem Three

She sighs. She reads well, 

talks of poetry and death,

heaven, 

and its change from infancy.

What is this nonsense?

Outcries my brain.

I'm reading poetry 

now, 

and writing it. 

This one was written while critiquing Wallace Stevens' Harmonium. 

This one's a little dark. Poem 1

The following poem was written during a class where we were discussing The Well Mouth by Philip Salom, an Australian poet. It's a dark collection of linked poems all concerning death in one way or another. I'll try and post a link to the book on Amazon, if there is one*.

Poem One

Take my life

and keep it

It is my present

to you

Guard it,

so it's safe

I'll be gone awhile

*Here's the link. They misspelt his name.

Polyester Bride

First up - as a sort of pre-post-script - I'm way too tired to be blogging right now, I just hit enter to publish this with only a title :S here goes:

Emotions are never solitary are they? I'm happy right in this moment, but earlier this evening I was a little sombre. And this song came up on shuffle and perfectly summed up where I've been off and on for a while now.

All I need now is to find my Henry.

And I will post a full rave on Bird by Bird soon.

ETA: I never posted that review. But it was an awesome book. I highly recomend it to anyone who anyone interested in writing and/or the process of creating a story

Bird by Bird

by Anne Lamott. I got it for Christmas and I've started reading it. So far it's sucked me in and has inspired me to write like a freak.

I'll be back later with the finished product.

Getting Ready

For the end of year assessments and Sydney Salsa Congress '10!

Just quick for now because I've already procrastinated enough today.

But I just got home from a private class with my instructors. I'm in a choreography for the aforementioned congress, and consider myself the least experienced dancer. So I went and booked a private so I could brush up on my fundamentals. Within the hour I could feel myself dancing better and my instructors could see it. I'm happy about that.

Now what I need to do is Practice! Or I'll forget it all by next Sunday, our first rehearsal learning the choreography. So exciting! We're working with some of the best Salsa dancers in the world here!

So on another note, I'm supposed to be reading The Reader Bernhard Schlink for Lit. Studies.

Unfortunately so far I'm not connecting with it. I want to know more about the character of Hanna, rather than view her from the protagonist's POV, as if I were watching her in a movie with the sound off. The reader is told facts about her but there's little characterisation.

And the pace is quite slow.

But, I'll keep persevering (if only to have something to say in the tut) and let you know what I think when I'm done.